


Memory in Words

by DropDead_Gorgeous



Series: Is love worth the pain? [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bad coping mechanisms, Car Accident, Coma, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Writing a diary, mentioning of depression, mentions of vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DropDead_Gorgeous/pseuds/DropDead_Gorgeous
Summary: Bokuto senses seemed to be failing him.He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel his hands or the phone as he called the ambulance. He couldn't feel the tears on his face or the stones piercing into his skin as he knelt on the ground. Everything was so numb.He couldn't hear anything. The phone call was a blur. There were people shouting and cars honking but he didn't register it. He only had a sharp ringing in his ears that was too loud, too painful.He couldn't see the people who pulled out the unconscious body away from the accident scene. He couldn't see the paramedics that had arrived and were taking the body on a stretcher. He couldn't see it. It was all blurred out.He only saw Akaashi's unmoving body that was covered in blood and dirt. He only heard his own voice whispering Akaashi's name. He could only feel Kuroo's hand on his shoulder, gripping it with such force it was the only thing still connecting him with reality.His senses were overloaded as his world shattered, turned to complete dust the moment Akaashi Keiji, the love of his life, got hit by the speeding car.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Is love worth the pain? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000440
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. Entry 1 — Bokuto

Entry 1

_04/11/2019_

_12:08 am_

_To my sweet owl, Akaashi,_

_Hey Hey Hey Akaashi!!!! It's Bokuto!!! You know captain of Fukurodani and the one whose never leaving you alone? Yep that's me! You see it's been about 3days since you went into coma and it's killing me and Kuroo. So Tsukki came into rescue (he really did he came from Miyagi when he heard about you) and told me to write a diary so when you wake up you can read about what we did so you don't miss out!!_

_I bought the fattest and longest book I could find and I decorated the front page with me, you, kuroo, tsukki, kenma and our team's pictures!! Although it is ex-team for me but i don’t care!! Tsukki even helped me can you believe that!!???i think he likes being with us even if he doesn’t show it! That’s so cute don’t you think?_

_You know you scared us all! I don't want to talk about it but maybe when you wake up, k? Hey hey Akaashi Im sitting next to you in the hospital bed and you look so peaceful! But there's this coldness that makes me feel sad. Kuroo is not here because he’s not well. He's sick and keeps throwing up. He doesn't want to come to the hospital because of what happened to you...._

_But don't worry!!! I'll be here everyday!!!! I'll make sure your never alone :) I'll write all the greatest stuff that happens so wake up okay? Wake up and smile brightly!!!!_

_From your chaotic sweet owl, Bokuto!_

Tears stained the paper where Bokuto wrote. His body trembled and shook with every sob. No one was there to comfort him. No one was there to tell him to breathe. Just him and Akaashi. Just the two in the empty hospital room. He closed the book and placed it on the table, almost dropping it with how shaky his hands were.

"You-you better come back to us A-Akaashi. You better come back to m-me"


	2. Entry 2 — Kuroo

Entry 2

_5/11/2020_

_1:02pm_

_Akaashi, the calm and sane owl,_

_Hello Akaashi! It’s me, Kuroo and well Kenma. He’s sitting next to me here and is snuggled in his blanket cocoon not knowing what to do with the news. He hasn’t touched his game at all! Surprising right? Tsukki came and suggested this idea and Bokuto had immediately pounced on him with a huge grin that I hadn’t seen for a while. Well it’s difficult for me too. I’m traumatised actually and can’t sleep (that’s why kenma is here along with Tsukki who is refusing to enter my room. Something about privacy breaching or some shit)_

_But don't worry I'll get better! It's just so hard with everything. Day to day stuff is becoming harder to do. My parents are trying to find me and Bo a therapist or something but we all know we are in no state to go now. He's always in the hospital with you. He's always next you....he won't be leaving any soon. His parents and your parents are so worried so wake up ok?_

_I won't be visiting because of my mental state....I'm writing it so freely but actually I'm horrified. Don't read into it cause by the time you're awake I would be so much more better!!!_

_I'll make sure Kenma writes an entry too. Something to make you smile. Oh and you won't find entries written by your parents cause this confidential to us only (Bo's rules ;))_

_Just know I really miss you ok!_

_From the black cat,_   
_Kuroo Tetsurō._

"Kuro... you're shaking" Kenma whispered and snuggled closer to Kuroo, trying to give any sort of comfort. The older let out another shaky sob, tears refusing to stop flowing. He held onto Kenma as he tried his best not to remember the accident scene, afraid of going into another panic attack.

"I want to s-sleep." Kuroo said. "I-I don't wan-nt to remember t-t-that" he let out another sob and wailed. He cried until there was no tears in his eyes. He screamed until Kenma was afraid Kuroo would tear his vocal chords. He gripped his arms until they bled and needed to be pried off by Tsukishima.

He was a mess and he wasn't willing for anyone else to know.


	3. Entry 3 — Kenma

Entry 3

_7/11/2020_

_4:00pm_

_Dear Akaashi Keiji,_

_Hello Akaashi san, it's me Kenma. I honestly don't know what to write except that everything is in chaos. Fukurodani Volleyball team has cancelled all practices and any matches due to the shock. Kuro refuses to go to practice so I have stayed behind with him to take care of him. Tsukishima has been in Tokyo for a week and he's heading back to Miyagi next month._

_Honestly Tsukishima has been the one who has been taking care of us to be honest. Our parents, who are always at work as you would know, have basically dumped the responsibility on him. He goes around asking if we've ate and has even cooked for us._

_Im grateful he's here because with me, Kuro and Bokuto being in the states we're in, we have neglected our health. Even after all Kuro has done for me I cannot give back everything he has given me. Cannot comfort him except for the hugs he asks. Tsukishima handles most of our comforting —which us obviously a little rare for him to show such warmth—. He also vists you every other day with this pained expression._

_you're probably wondering about my anxiety now. My anxiety attack has been there especially after watching Kuro have panic attacks. Keeps spiking up when Kuroo screams at night and refuses to go back to sleep._

_Tsukishima handles it so well like he has done this his whole life and that too worries me. I'm scared of what will happen to us. If everything will ever go back to normal. I knew the other two wouldn't fill in their mental state so I'm doing a little just so you know that we really care about you. I'm not good at telling these stuff but I know you'll understand. Can't wait to talk to you again._

_From ~~Kenma~~ , the calico cat,_

_Kenma._

Kenma read what he has written again and again, wondering if should cut it all and rewrite it. But he knew someone has to say how the others are and if not him, Tsukishima would probably be even more blunt about it. He doesn't even know how the first year is coping with this. He remembers Tsukishima barging into the house and immediately pulling them into the bath tub to wash up.

the second year wiped his face of the tears and closed the book. He might now have ever shown it but he held Akaashi close to his heart like he did with Kuro and Bokuto. Close friends who he could depend on. And now all of them were shattered to pieces and he was afraid of losing them all.

He fell back on the bed and hoped he could sleep for a while and when he wakes up this was just a nightmare that never happened.


	4. Entry 4 — Tsukishima

Entry 4

_10:37 pm_

_8/11/2020_

_To my mental support, Akaashi._

_Hello Akaashi San. I hope that when you're reading this you're feeling much better and that you smile. The smile that we only see when you're looking at Bokuto I hope to see that once again. We may not have been all that close as you, Bokuto and Kuroo started including me in your group shenanigans pretty recently by driving all the way to Miyagi to kidnap me for a 3 day trip or taking me around Tokyo when I visit so I can see all your favourite places and enjoy all the things you like to to do here._

_I was more than glad when you 3 took me into your care or "adopting me" as Kuroo san would like to say. I felt like maybe I could lower my walls here even if it's just a little because if how fast you figured me out. Yamaguchi wouldn't stop teasing me when you gifted me what you did on my birthday._

_I am not good when talking about feelings and showing that i appreciate what everyone does for me but I hope that writing this diary shows that we care for you. I hope that me visiting you can tell you that I see you as a dear friend._

_I will be leaving back to Miyagi next month but I'll make sure to fill this diary whenever I can. Akaashi san you going into a coma has broken us all and basically changed us so drastically that we aren't recognisable now. But if you're going to blame yourself then don't. I promise that sooner or later we will be laughing and when you wake up we'll greet you with smiles._

_From ~~Tsukishima~~ the baby crow,_  
_Tsukishima Kei._

Everyone was currently asleep. He had to give one of his sleeping pills to make Kuroo sleep as the older hadn't slept in two days. Tsukishima was afraid the older might be showing signs of insomnia. Kenma, who hadn't left Kuroo's side, was attached to him in what would have been cute if it wasn't for the way the second year kept waking up every to check on his friend.

He had to pull Bokuto san from the hospital for a bath and well rested sleep before having him eat a full meal. Their parents for some reason are always in work and don't seem to be paying much attention to the mental and physical health of their children and it somewhat pissed Tsukishima off.

The blonde closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh. "Akaashi san.....we need you" he took in a deep breath to stop himself from crying "we need y-you to wake up".


End file.
